out of body | out of mind | out of love

am starting to lose a lil faith in what we call relationships. am i looking? no i'm not. but i guess i miss that warm + fuzzy feeling knowing that u've got someone there for u. i had that person for a good 3 yrs, broke up + yeah we remained friends + all that. it was a good 2.5 yrs after, tho i know deep inside he was waiting for me but i didn't give him that chance, cos i thought, maybe we were just not meant to be as i couldn't really see a future with him in some sad strange way. but what i admire about him is his true good heart. thanks for that. thanks for those 3 yrs + 2.5 yrs for being such a great good friend.

so he's moved on, so have i..tho i found out he now has a new lady in his life. good for him.. really. am happy for him to know that he's found someone to be there for him. then the questions of 'what ifs'? come up. no i really shouldn't dwell on what has already happened... + it doesn't help that i'm listening to soppy 80's power ballads... oooo damn emo! but thanks hon.. now that i look back, u're right..melbourne so wouldn't have been what it was if it weren't for us... i did love u + u will always have a special place in my heart.

it also doesn't help that i've had pure bad luck with cupid. he must awfully hate me to do such things with my heart. or maybe it's all a test for the real one to float up from the depths of this sea of what they call 'fish'. bloody hell, the further u swimout to sea, the harder it is to find true real ppl.

so, i'm just gonna stay out of body, out of min dn out of love for a while as a build up my inner self to take on the next challenges of life.